“The voice you hear the most is your own, make sure it’s on your side.”

As human beings, we thrive on social connection — meeting people, talking to them, interacting, and building meaningful relationships. But alongside all these external conversations, we also spend a significant amount of time engaged in one of the most important dialogues of all: the one we have with ourselves.

This inner voice has a powerful influence on many parts of our life and daily functioning. It shapes our confidence, guides our motivation, and affects our emotional wellbeing — often more than we realise. Now imagine if this inner voice was your best friend, someone who understands you, supports you, and encourages you wholeheartedly. How would it feel to move through your day with a voice like that by your side? When we learn to speak to ourselves with kindness, patience, and honesty, we begin to build an inner companion we can truly trust.

On the other hand, imagine that you spoke to your best friend the way you indulge in negative self-talk with yourself. How would it make them feel? Negative self-talk can sound like, “I can’t do this,” “Everyone is better than me,” or “I always mess up.” These thoughts can lower confidence, increase anxiety, and make challenges feel bigger than they really are. For many students, this inner critic becomes loud during moments of pressure.

It’s normal for one to think, “What if I fail?”, “I’m not good enough,” or “Everyone is better than me.” We all have these thoughts before exams, presentations, with peers or in other interpersonal relationships. They don’t mean weakness. The goal isn’t to stop negative thoughts, but to learn how to respond to them calmly and kindly.

Learning to guide our self-talk begins with simply catching the thought that’s making us feel low or anxious. Maybe it’s after seeing a friend’s picture online and thinking, “I don’t look good compared to them,” or after a small argument assuming, “My friends must be annoyed with me.” Once we notice these thoughts, we can challenge them by asking, “Is this completely true?” “Have there been times my friends have supported me or complimented me?” This helps us step away from harsh, automatic judgments. Then we can replace the thought with something more balanced like, “I don’t need to look like anyone else to feel good about myself,” or “One disagreement doesn’t change my friendships.”

Here’s one simple practice to add to your day: stand in front of the mirror and gently remind yourself, “I am enough,” “I can handle this,” or “I deserve kindness.” These small affirmations help you stay grounded, build confidence, and stand tall through life’s challenges.

Ms. Bhavya Lanka
Student Counsellor